Welcome to Sex In-The-920! I’m the Carrie Bradshaw of UW Oshkosh, or your college sex guru. Understanding your love language can be difficult. You want to be fluent with someone and understand what someone is saying to you by their actions.
Love languages can be broken down by what you like to do for others, and then what you like to receive for yourself. Personally, my love language is words of affirmation for both perspectives. I like to be praised, and I want to praise someone back! But I am here to help you find your love language. I’ll introduce the different ones to you and explain them to help you find which one fits you best.
- Acts of service
Acts of service represent words of affirmation, but physically doing so. An individual who likes to do things for others typically falls under this language. Do you like to help people with their homework? Do you like to make dinner for others, or pump gas for them? You may show your love by showing acts of service or doing things for the person you love. But if you like it when someone does this for you and helps you with day-to-day tasks, you should communicate this with your partner if you’re not receiving what you want. Remember, what you want/need in a relationship is the bare minimum, and if someone can’t show you that, then it’s not worth it.
- Quality time
This love language is sort of self-explanatory. Do you constantly like being around your partner, or even friends? Do you constantly make plans for the next hangout? Then quality time may be your language.
I believe that this is a good language to have because you are putting in effort to hang out with your people. I have a friend whose boyfriend would constantly ask her to hang out, but she is very independent and likes to be alone, so she’d deny the hangout. Surprise, they didn’t work out! Not saying that you need to speak the same language, but you should accommodate their needs. If you feel the same as my friend, then maybe quality time is not your love language. But that’s okay, because there are three more!
- Receiving gifts
Little surprises are always fun to receive. A random bouquet of flowers, or more V-bucks on Fortnite on a random Tuesday!
Do you look forward to Christmas? Do you love surprising someone with gifts, but also love receiving them yourself? Then receiving gifts or giving gifts is your love language. As I mentioned so many times, if you want more gifts, you have to tell your partner that. You can’t just expect something when they don’t know what you want.
- Physical touch
Again, this language is self-explanatory. Physical touch can range from always wanting a hug, to standing next to someone or even just sitting by someone. Always wanting to be near or touching is an act of physical touch.
Do you like to constantly be held? Do you want to constantly hold someone? Do you crave a little graze? If so, then touch is your love language!
I would say it’s better to be in a relationship with someone whose love language is also physical touch. It would be difficult to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t like to be touched if that’s all you want. But I am not one to judge; if something is working in your relationship, then have at it!
- Words of affirmation
Of course, I saved my favorite one for last! I am a little biased, but this is in the opinion section, so I’m allowed to be. Words of affirmation are when you like to constantly tell someone how much you like them or love them. Although I’m not the greatest at communicating, words of affirmation can allow for stronger communication and a stronger bond between you and your partner.
Do you like to constantly tell someone how attractive they are to make them feel more confident? Do you like to say, ‘I love you?’ Then you’re like me, and words of affirmation are for you! As I mentioned, it’s important to give even effort into a relationship. You truly get what you give, and if you’re not getting what you want, you either have to put in more effort or communicate that.
Finding a love language that matches yours can be difficult to find. But the point of a relationship is understanding the other person, and understanding their love languages. Being in a relationship means you have to be open to understanding the other person.
Remember, it’s difficult to get what you want if you don’t communicate it. And also remember, if you’re not getting what you want/need, you should tell your partner because it’s the bare minimum to get what you want out of a relationship. Communication is key, and you truly get what you give.
