Welcome to Sex In-The-920! I’m the Carrie Bradshaw of UW-Oshkosh, or your college sex guru. A question I’ve gotten asked multiple times is, how do I tell my partner I have an STD? If I’m being honest, I’ve been putting this off because I feel like I’m not the greatest person to ask since I’ve never experienced this. But, I do think I have an idea of what I would do in this circumstance. With these diseases being very contagious, I couldn’t help but wonder, is honesty really the best policy?
The obvious answer is yes! This isn’t just something you can lie about or avoid. It’s an important thing that your partner should know about, and I understand if it can make or break a relationship, but it is important that your partner knows beforehand. Sex is a very vulnerable action. Showing your body to another person is already very intimate, and revealing, so it’s understandable if an unfortunate circumstance like an STD is relevant in your relationship.
Luckily, I believe there are ways to go about this. As I mentioned, you shouldn’t practice unsafe sex if you know you have an STD. This can lead to you transferring it to someone else, obviously, and it’s not smart. Safe sex is always important to practice; infection, or not, unless you want to conceive. But, when you have to address this issue to your partner, you should do it slowly, but pretty early on in a relationship. Here’s a script: “There’s something I think you should know, before we have sex … I have an STD.” It can be as simple as that. I do believe you really should tell them. I can’t stress that enough. Telling them can also ease up the issue, and can allow them to trust you in other ways. Imagine the anxiety you’d hold keeping this in, and even transferring it to them without telling them.
I believe my advice on this topic is a little bland, but I have never had to go through this issue, and I hope you never do too. Safe sex is always important to practice. Remember, birth control isn’t 100%, and can still transfer diseases. Honesty really is the best policy. Always listen to your body, and be smart, safe, and understanding.
