Welcome to Sex In-The-920! I’m the Carrie Bradshaw of UW-Oshkosh, or your college sex guru. As a new relationship develops, trusting your partner can come with it’s difficulties. Trusting them in ways with your body and lifestyle can be scary. The only person who knows your own body is yourself. You know yourself best. 

I couldn’t help but wonder, when is it too soon to have sex in a new relationship? It’s truly easy to say when it is too soon. I’m a firm believer that you should not have sex with someone on the first date. I think this is because you are getting to know someone, and not their body. It’s important to build a relationship on a foundation of love and not lust immediately. 

With that in mind, I do believe even the second or third date is also a little too soon to have sex with a new partner that you are trying to build a relationship with. Remember, this stands for building a relationship, not having a one-night-stand. It’s important to recognize your partners comfortability also. The sex conversation should happen before the action, so you can both understand each other’s needs and wants. 

The question still stands, when is it too soon? My answer is sort of simple, and I hate to say it but it is true. When you know, you know. You’ll be able to feel when you’re ready and when it’s meant to happen. Planning the act can be problematic, because it can set your expectations too high. Rose petals and candles can be tacky, just having you and your partner is most important. Always remember, consent is key, and ask before you do every time. Listen to yourself, your body, and always try to understand your partner.