"The Caffienated There’s a wild look in The Caffeinated’s eyes, a mixture of determination and coffee. Sure, they have a ten-page paper due at midnight, but if they can chug three cups of steaming coffee in two minutes, they can crank out half of that paper in an hour. If The Caffeinated also happens to be The Talker, someone save us all. Approachability: 7/10—More than happy to talk, but don’t expect their undivided attention, as their caffeine level prevents them from doing only one action at a time.