Tinder bios translated, for your convenience

Ethan Uslabar, Arts & Entertainment editor

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






What it says:
Over six feet if that matters
What it means:
Please, please, please validate me.

What it says:
“You miss 100% of the shots your don’t take”
-Wayne Gretzky
-Michael Scott
What it means:
Like this quote, I’m dreadfully unimaginative.

What it says:
Swipe the direction of your political views.
What it means:
Hi, racist guy here. Date me?

What it says:
Here for a good time, not a long time.
What it means:
Read my lips: our relationship will be short-lived and lousy.

What it says:
Future DILF
What it means:
You’ll have to sit in the backseat because my ego rides shotgun.

What it says:
If you’re not a dog person, it’s not going to work out.
What it means:
Hey baby, do you like arbitrary stipulations in your voluntary commitments?

What it says:
Let’s go on an adventure!
What it means:
This is what I’ll say when my ‘96 Grand Am breaks down in the middle of nowhere.

What it says:
Guac is extra but so am I.
What it means:
I have two volume levels: loud and screaming

What it says:
I can probably outdrink you.
What it means:
For my next trick, I will pass off alcoholism as a cute quirk.

What it says:
I love to travel.
What it means:
Look! Look! I’m so cultured, I’ve been to the Bahamas!

What it says:
I know “The Office” by heart.
What it means:
I’m completely devoid of any semblance of a personality.

What it says:
Sarcasm is my first language.
What it means:
My second language is idiocy.

What it says:
Country boys will always have my heart.
What it means:
Let’s do brother-sister roleplay.