The Advance-Titan

Working with long-distance relationships

Abby Zook

We have all heard that hard piece of advice when starting college: get rid of high school love, especially if you are going to different colleges. An abounding amount of articles will tell you it is best to start fresh in college and breaking up with your significant other is the best way to do that.

However, it seems that many freshmen forgo this depersonalized piece of advice.

With any relationship, there are important aspects to what makes it work. You both need to put forth effort, communicate, stay loyal to each other, support one another, etc.

So can long distance relationships work? Some would say no because of the lack of communication between both parties.

With different schedules for each party, communicating can be difficult when one of them wants to sit and have a conversation. It’s easy to not communicate, especially when you are so far away from a loved one and become increasingly busier. It can feel like you are not even in a relationship because you’re not talking to them.

However, in a relationship where communication is the top priority long distance will work.

My boyfriend and I started dating during my sophomore year of high school. We went to separate schools about 45 minutes away. We have been in a long-distance relationship from day one and have been dating for three years come November.

The only way for us to keep our relationship together is to text each other consistently. We agreed to a high level of communication early on in our relationship and have kept at it to this day.

Because of this personal experience, I believe that it takes a lot of work to make a long distance relationship work. A high amount of communication, trust and patience makes the reward of a loving relationship worth it.

This seems to be a common opinion among students on the UW Oshkosh campus.

Communication is a big aspect of how relationships work, but it isn’t the only part. Both partners need to work for the relationship. This can also be a big disadvantage for long distance relationships because one partner may feel like the other is not putting effort towards the relationship.

However, many people still believe long distance can work. Freshman Becky Villafuentes said, “I think so, if both partners are equally willing to work through it.”

When in a long distance relationship, it does take a lot of work—even more work than if you see each other every day—for the relationship to continue to be successful. But with the effort it takes to put into the relationship, there is the reward of being with the one you love.

Freshman Tatum DePerry said, “I believe long distance relationships can work. It obviously will be a lot of work, but if there is a lot of love and trust, then distance should not matter.”

Trust is the biggest part of any relationship. If you don’t trust your boyfriend or girlfriend to be faithful and honest to you, then the relationship is just going to collapse in on itself.

After polling the North and South Scott residents via the “Sarahah” app, I received several positive responses and stories of long distance relationships.
However, the results are skewed because many of the people who responded are currently in a long-distance relationship and have been for several years.

But those who said long-distance doesn’t work have often had one of two experiences.

The first experience being that they were in a long-distance relationship that failed. A failing long-distance relationship doesn’t necessarily mean all distanced relationships don’t work. You can find several stories on the internet of perfectly happy married couples who were long distance at one point.

The second situation is they have never been in a long distance relationship. How can a person say something won’t work if they haven’t tried it themselves?

In the end, long-distance relationships will always have their troubles, but through hard work from both parties, consistent communication and plenty of trust, any relationship can work.

So yes, I believe in long distance relationships. There are seven billion people in the world. You really think your soulmate lives down the street?

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Independent Student Newspaper of the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh
Working with long-distance relationships