Whoever decided to put election season right next to Thanksgiving is either America’s biggest prankster or a masochist that just wants to watch the world burn. Either way, I have a bone to pick with them.
I have a bone to pick with my family too, and no, it’s not the wishbone from the Thanksgiving turkey.
It can be hard to be alone in your beliefs amongst family members, but know you are not alone in this feeling. Many college students feel like the black sheep — or the blue donkey — of their family: including me!
As somebody who has always been politically ostracized in my family, here’s some ways to mitigate tension-filled Thanksgiving gatherings and deal with your outspoken Uncle Jim this holiday season.
- Set boundaries ahead of time
Let your family know early on that you do not want to talk about politics. Setting your boundaries before they can be violated is a proactive and preventive measure that will hopefully nip any problems in the bud and stop Uncle Jim before he can even start.
Setting your boundaries is also just a healthy and important part of any relationship, and will hopefully prevent or lessen the amount of political talk (at least in front of you) at other family gatherings as well.
- Humor & redirection
Humor and redirection are great options if setting boundaries is a little too confrontational for you. These strategies give you some control over the conversation in an under-the-draw-leaf-table sort of way.
If setting boundaries doesn’t work, you have three options. First, try to reaffirm and remind your family members of your boundaries. If they still don’t listen, you may just have shitty family members.
At this point, you can either dip, or try to alleviate the situation in other ways such as humor and redirection.
You can also try to redirect the situation by changing the subject. Try complimenting your Aunt Shirley on her new shawl, or asking Uncle Jim about the Packers vs Dolphins Thanksgiving game happening that day.
If that doesn’t work, humor can be a more effective and confrontational strategy. Humor is great because it allows you to say what you want in a more lighthearted way.
Every joke always has a little bit of truth to it, so you can tell off Uncle Jim in a subtle way while also getting some brownie points from family members for making them laugh, and bruising his ego just enough to send a message without hurting your relationship with him.
Humor can be tricky, so make sure not to be too mean or this strategy may have the opposite effect.
- Remove yourself
Now I know that you may be wanting to remove some of your family members at the moment, but the better option is to remove yourself from the situation.
This can either be by mentally removing yourself from the situation by talking to other “safe” family members, disassociating or physically removing yourself from the situation.
Taking a trip to the bathroom, getting a second plate of food (or fifth, depending on where you’re at), petting your grandmother’s elderly dog and taking a breather outside are all great options for physically removing yourself from the conversation.
- Goodbye & spa time
If temporarily removing yourself from the situation isn’t enough distance, you can also remove yourself from the entire premises.
Go treat yourself to some self-care like an at-home spa day, or, if that’s not in-budget, a coffee or a shot of Everclear should also do the trick.
There’s no shame in leaving early, and if anything, it will (hopefully) send a message and make your family feel bad for pushing your boundaries.
You can always make up an excuse, but leaving abruptly or early will communicate a lasting message to your family members about your boundaries and expectations regarding conversation topics at the dinner table and at other family gatherings.
- Remember family first
Perhaps the most important tip in this whole article is to remember that, no matter how angry you may get, they are still your family at the end of the day.
In many cases, these people have watched you grow up and have loved you since the day you were born. Politics cannot change that.
I understand that this election was especially emotionally charged with abortion and Project 2025 looming over our heads. Trust me, I feel it too.
At the end of the day, the election has already taken enough from a lot of us. What we can’t do is let it take even more, and give it more power over our life than it already has.
Thanksgiving is all about gathering with your loved ones and expressing your gratitude for them. Don’t let the election ruin this sentimental and special time, and remember that you can always celebrate Thanksgiving with your chosen family.
