Welcome to Sex and In The  920! I’m the Carrie Bradshaw of UW Oshkosh. As we enter the first semester of the new year, new relationships are starting. New semester, new me, new man. It is known throughout that we are currently in the “red-zone”. The U.S. Department of Justice titles the “red-zone” times the most amount of sexual assaults happen on campus during the first six weeks. 

With this being said, we lean into the topic of consent, and how just saying “yes” or asking “can I kiss you?” is so attractive. Now, in today’s age, many individuals will often use the line, “Are you going to kiss me or what?” and to be honest, this feels like an ultimatum.

 Now that may be the point, but I couldn’t help but wonder, are people just afraid to feel corny to ask for consent? The clear answer is no. Speaking from experience, many of my friends will boast about how their significant others will ask them for consent, and we all shout and scream with excitement. But, why are we excited over the bare minimum? 

Again, in today’s age the bare minimum feels like a lot to ask for, but just asking if you could hug someone, kiss someone, or even sitting next to someone, should be considered. As individuals we all are in our own world, and we all have our limits. While you may be head over heels for your significant other, there will be moments where you don’t want to kiss, cuddle or hug, and that’s okay! 

With that being said, you cannot force someone to kiss you whenever you want, you have to ask. Think of it like when you go to the movies, and the worker asks, “Do you want butter on your popcorn?”, while the clear answer for some may be yes, for many may be no. Some may not be ready for it, (a kiss, not popcorn), some individuals just don’t want to kiss someone they just met, or you just don’t want to. And that’s an answer in itself. It’s always okay to say no. No response is also a response. Understanding that asking for consent is not only attractive, but allows for ease that the other individual is also thinking what you’re thinking. And even if you may get a no, the act of asking is still very considerate, and the bare minimum.