Welcome to Sex In-the-920! I’m the Carrie Bradshaw of UW Oshkosh, or your college sex guru. In college, we’re at an awkward age where individuals are beginning to get engaged. In adulthood, or shall I say your 40s, you’re at an awkward stage where you remember you’ve been married for 20 years, and if you wanna keep going, or divorce.
In your 40s, sometimes you realize you don’t know much about your partner, and that’s because you’ve been so focused on raising your child, and if you don’t have children, you’ve been so focused on keeping the house together. Now, I know I’m not in my 40s, so I can’t speak for the entire generation, but as a people watcher, or someone that has a staring problem, I have picked up on a few things. This really got me to think, and I couldn’t help but wonder, are people in college now dating to marry?
I know that when I’m 40, I don’t want to lose my spark with my future husband. I want him to look at me like I’m still the only girl in the world, but that may only happen in a perfect world, if I don’t find the perfect match. And that’s why I bring the idea of trying someone on. I like to consider myself an expert of the hit show “Sex and the City” on HBO. As I was rewatching the series yesterday for the fifth time, Carrie mentioned to one of her dates that she wasn’t so sure about him. She said she was just trying him on, and he wasn’t a perfect fit. Now in this season, Carrie was 35, and was more so looking to marry than an individual in their 20s at UWO, but she really does have a point.
At what age do we stop casual dating and date to marry? The short answer is I don’t really know, but I do know that I’m not ready to get married right now, and I doubt you are too. That being said, it’s okay to casually date. You have to remember that marriage is a lot of work, unless you just go to the courthouse, but that could lead to an early divorce, which is a lot of work too and a lot of money.
Understanding that someone does not have to be a perfect fit, because not everything fits perfectly, but it’s really true when they say “when you know, you know.” You want your forever to be a pretty good fit, but have room to grow, so you can grow with them.
Even if you aren’t in college and are at an older age, it’s still okay to try someone on, and see if they fit. There’s so many individuals in the world, and the first person that you date may not be the one, and that’s okay. Remember, at the end of the day you only have yourself, and you deserve the best relationship that you can receive. ‘Yourself’ is only given to you once, so you have to take good care of yourself, and find someone that will love you as much as you love yourself.
