UWO students – drum roll please – it is that time of year: the semiannual fall Pub Crawl. The weekend when college students drink from sunrise to sundown as soon as that final class gets out on Friday (with the extra ambitious drinkers starting on Friday morning). 

It is undeniably the weekend when our college town lives up to its infamous name, Sloshkosh. Shower beers become the temporary cure for hangovers, because if you sleep you’ll miss it. 

It is almost impossible to prevent underage students from partaking in this event, therefore I will do my best to lay out the ground rules and helpful tips so that everyone can enjoy this weekend and minimize the amount of trouble they get into. 

First and foremost, fines are not a scare tactic and they will be given out without remorse. Police officers are there to keep the public safe; don’t mess with fire if you don’t want to get burned. Stay on the lawn. You will be subject to punishment if your feet hit public property with an alcoholic beverage in hand. 

Equally important to watching where you parade yourself with an alcoholic beverage is knowing your own limits. Do not attempt to outdrink your friends, knowing full well that you can’t. What fun is Pub Crawl going to be if it’s lights out by noon? Pace yourself. You have the entire weekend to drink yourself silly – don’t overdo it immediately. 

I think it’s important to add that you shouldn’t be pressured into drinking this weekend either. Remind yourself how good it feels to wake up without the sudden urge to throw up and a throbbing headache. Save yourself the cost of liquor and time spent scraping mud buildup off your shoes. 

For those still worried about fines (which you should be) let’s go over the potential money you could be out if you’re not smart about things. The first offense of underage drinking is $263.50 according to the Oshkosh Police Department (OPD). Getting caught with a fake ID is a hefty fine of $515.50. For those thinking they can pull off an ID from Missouri that’s peeling at the edges – don’t. 

While you are partaking in activities this weekend, be respectful to the people and property around you. It’s all fun and games until someone’s property is tampered with and/or destroyed by reckless, drunk college kids. Please try not to get caught on a ring doorbell doing something you’ll regret in the morning. 

Let’s not make the community hate us this early in the year. 

Ladies in particular, watch your drinks and surround yourself with people you trust. The National Sexual Violence Resource Center (NSVRC) reports that 75% of rapes occurred to intoxicated victims. 

TIPS research also reports that “20–25% of women will experience sexual assault while in college, and at least 50% of sexual assaults involve excessive drinking.”

Be safe, be smart and look out for one another, even if you don’t know each other. If you see someone in need of help, step in and take initiative. You will feel better knowing you took preventative action rather than wondering if something bad happened. 

So brace yourself for a long weekend, UWO students. Freshmen, don’t push your limits. Seniors, live up your final fall crawl. Everyone in between, be smart. 

Finally, if all else fails, an anonymous Pub Crawl veteran tells students that sometimes a foot race is the only shot you have at escaping an underage.

“If you see everyone start running in one direction, start running that way,” he said. “Don’t ask questions; just go.” 

Stock yourself up with beer and Liquid I.V. Oh, and don’t forget to eat! Never underestimate a PB&J at 2 in the morning. 

Good luck on the three-day marathon that awaits you.